Pulling Weeds: prioritizing your marriage to make it awesome

It’s August! Y’all! How is this possible? It feels like summer just started… And I feel too young to have time fly by so fast! What will it be like when I’m 35?! That’s a morbid thought to me! I love being under 25 and I’d love to stay here for a while yet!

Okay, let’s talk about the subject at hand… Have you ever seen such weedy flower beds? And such wilted flowers? I mean, they’re really, really bad! In all honesty, I hadn’t touched them in almost a month! I’m sorry to put my really ugly looking flowerbeds out there for you to see, but all those weeds got me thinking and I had to share!

I obviously didn’t put any priority on my flowers for awhile! And I have some valid reasons… As in, I started blogging! (well, hello there!) We did a family camping trip the other week. Also, our church held Vacation Bible School last week and I taught third and fourth grade so that took some extra time and study!

But the top reason is I just did not prioritize going out and weeding! I always found other things to do that were more important! Here’s the deal… We have time for whatever we make time for. And like Crystal Paine talks about, we will always have to say no to something when we say yes to anything.

As I thought about that, it led my mind to other areas of life… There are so many things grabbing our attention! Homemaking responsibilities, gardening, our kiddos, friendships within our church congregation, parents and family, social media, marriage, time with God, and we each have our own stuff that we make time for! So what are the important things that we need to be saying yes to?

Of course, time with God should be at the top of the list for all of us! That’s a given… We each have our own way of spending time with the Heavenly Father. And that time with Him is what affects each day and how we relate to the stresses and responsibilities! That time with Him has a deep effect on our marriage!

I’m just a young wife and don’t have a lot of experience… But I do know that when I allow other things to take priority over our marriage, it really can go downhill fast. Being so practical here – It’s way too easy to let phones get in the way and without even realizing it, we allow a phone to monopolize our time and take away time we could be spending with our husband! We get caught up in our own little world and forget that we could be communicating with him, listening to him, or doing something kind for him. 

So back to those weeds in my flowerbed… I’d like to believe if I weed it once and go on my way, it won’t need to be weeded again. And I would rather just enjoy the beauty and not work at it at all for a very long time! Let’s liken those weeds to the stuff that gets in the way of an awesome marriage. Whether it be spending time on our phone, making other friends too much of a priority, or making a perfect house more important than kind words – So here’s how it can go for me.

I see that I’m having a problem with not prioritizing time with my husband: there’s all these weeds popping up in my life! So I work at them, really communicate with him and pray about my selfish issues; do my best to get life looking nice again! And it can all go great for awhile, but then I forget how ugly things get if I don’t keep after it consistently. So I slack off a little, and the weeds start growing back, and one day I look around and there they are, hiding the beauty again! Can you relate to that?

How do we keep this from happening? Here’s some encouragement that can help us to stay focused.

  • My marriage is important.

A strong marriage is God’s plan. It’s the future of the church and of a continuing peaceful country! The world’s marriage plan is not working, obviously! And the church is following along, with divorce rates skyrocketing! We are called to be light and I believe when we have a truly loving and Christ-centered marriage that is on fire for Him, we will have a lot of impact on the society around us. Also, God designed marriage to be fulfilling and bring joy to us and to Him. He wants it to be the most amazing relationship on earth! How will we find that joy and fulfillment if we’re not putting our all into it?

  •  It’s not about me.  

Ok, this is something that we learned when we were little, right?! My parents taught me well and lived out an amazing example, that life does not revolve around me. They taught me to look for the good in others, to be unselfish, to let others have their way before my own…

It takes a lot of effort to deny our own wishes when we know that our way is better than his!! We know how to parent better, drive better, know exactly when it’s time to go home, and know how he should manage his time when we’re together! We know how to sweep the floor better and even though he offered ever so sweetly, we need to micromanage exactly how he does it. Or not…

Okay, let it go! Let go of how I do things and my wishes. Let him lead, and be the head of our marriage and home. Be one with him, don’t make him be one with me. God’s design is so orderly and beautiful when we follow it! Titus 2:4 and 5, in speaking of older women teaching the younger, says

…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

We’re not to concern ourselves with how someone else’s husband treats their wife, but we’re to submit to our own husband. We certainly never want to be in a place where we are reviling God’s Word! And yet, when we disrespect him, we are doing exactly that!

Thanks for reading this outpouring of my heart! Before my husband and I got married, we were determined to have the best marriage on earth! That is still our goal, and even though we have failed sometimes in living that out, we just gotta keep asking for grace to live that out!

Y’all, I want to challenge you: let’s respect and love on our husbands today! Do something special for him! Go out of your way to show him how much you appreciate him! Make him his favorite dinner! Keep those weeds under control in your marriage garden so that the flowers can be easily seen!!

Have a wonderful day!!


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  1. Joella- I’m not married… as far as I can see, that won’t be happening for a while unless God just drops the one out of the sky, haha! Either way, I like what you’ve put here and it’s something I’ve thought long and hard about just by being a spectator of other people’s marriages. My hope is that when and if I get married, that it’s a marriage like what you’re describing, full of the desire to serve the Lord, communication and less distractions (definitely talking about phones here). I like the scriptures that you reference here, too. Titus is actually one of my favorite, if not THE favorite, books of the Bible, simply because it teaches us how we should live and can be applied to every aspect of our lives. Thanks for sharing your heart!

    1. Joella says:

      Thank you for your encouragement!! I love Titus too! Practical and straightforward applying truth!

  2. Great truth! I am 9 years in and learning the same things. Thank you!

    1. Joella says:

      Michelle, thank you for your comment! May we never get done learning!

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