Compared to Who? – An Honest Look at Motherhood

“I’m such a bad Mom!”

“I’m just not cut out for this mom thing!”

“I feel sorry for my children having me for a Mom!”

Do you ever say or think anything like that? Or maybe I’m the only one that feels completely incapable of being ‘a good mom’… Whatever that means!

What does being a good mom consist of anyway? Who decides if you’re a good mom or a bad mom? Your friend from church? The lady at the grocery store who saw your child misbehave and told you how to child train?

I fall into the comparison trap so easily in mom life! I look around and see how other moms train their children or how their marriage seems so amazing or they tell me how their baby is doing this thing or that and I go, wait…

Maybe we should try that method of child training!

I’m really bad at being a wife!

Our child didn’t do that when she was that age! What if something’s wrong?

Can you relate??

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As you’ve probably figured out if you’ve been around here for awhile or read some other posts… I’m all about finding out truth! So I want to know, is there truth in any of these statements that I make to myself? Since God’s Word is always true, let’s look in there to see what the Gospel has to say to moms.

I’m such a bad mom!!

“I’m a bad mom” is really a negative thought. If we take away the mom part of that sentence, we get “I’m bad.” Now, we know outside of Christ we are bad but we’ve been saved. We have Jesus living in us and we have been justified by faith (Romans 5:1). So that sentence needs to be taken right out of our vocabulary. Through Christ, we can be good moms, the best moms ever for our own children!!

Jesus gave us “all things that pertain to life and godliness” through His divine power! (2 Peter 1:3) and we can rest in that fact. Children are a wonderful part of the life He’s given us. He’s given us power to be a worthy mom to them!! There’s so much hope and peace in that and let’s not allow ourselves to believe that we are a “bad mom”!!!

I think where the “bad mom” lie comes from is because we’re not perfect! We make mistakes, we fail to communicate properly, we don’t discipline as consistently as we’d like, we forget to give them positive encouragement when they’ve done well. And maybe that’s when we come to the end of the day and go, “I just really botched this day, or this moment that could have been beautiful!”

That’s when we need to fall on our knees and say, “God, be merciful! I need You to continue to transform my life so I can show Christ to these littles!”

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I’m just not cut out for this mom thing!

Maybe you’re not naturally a baby person. Or maybe you don’t like the thought of dirty diapers, sticky floors, and a toddler following you around chattering nonstop! That was kinda me.

After we got married, I was so not into babies. They seemed to me to take up lots of time, make big messes, and on top of that, they just cried and cried seemingly not having a reason for it and that scared me like crazy!! I just wanted to live a cozy little life with my husband.

Okay, I truly adored my nieces and nephews so much but I was always glad that they could go home with their parents! Well, God really transformed my heart and put that desire in me that babies were actually awesome creations and maybe He’d like to give us one!! And then He blessed us with one adorable little girl! We thank Him every day for her, because she’s a miracle! And it’s been so sanctifying to have a child. She teaches us so many great life lessons! So if you’re a wife that is struggling with wanting babies, take it from me – they’re so, so worth it!!

Looking around at other moms can really suck the joy out of our mom life! Sometimes it seems like they all take lots of time to play, do crafts, read stories, take them to the park… Or else their children always behave like perfect little angels and they seem to have the discipline thing completely figured out! Or maybe they have a really great looking house and have time for their own crafts and hobbies and we feel like all we get done is take care of children and do dishes and laundry and never do anything extra! And we feel like we can never measure up to that standard of motherhood.

So I’m wondering, who’s standard are we comparing ourselves to? Is it God’s standard? Or is it someone else’s that we’d like to be like? Because God’s standard is the most important! Sure, it’s great to learn from other people! But at the end of the day, we need to ask God for wisdom to raise our own family, and other moms don’t necessarily have the answers. And they probably don’t have it together either! They might be struggling, the same as you!

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If you’re a mom in the thick of it and feel sometimes like God’s blessed you with too many babies… I got nothin’ to say! Okay, I actually don’t because I only have one right now. (Not saying that God won’t ever surprise us with more than we think we can handle!;) But some days I don’t even feel cut out for the mom thing! So we go to the Word.

Jesus says, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness…” (2 Corinthians 12:9) It’s truth. It’s grace.

Another verse that comes to mind is Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all ye who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” I love that!!

“Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it”. (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

He has called us nurture these children and show them Christ. They learn what Christ’s power is from us, their mother. They learn about forgiveness, strength to do the hard things, patience, love from their mom whom God has blessed them with! What a high calling!! Yes, we may not be cut out for it, but He will grant us strength in the middle of it!

I feel sorry for my children having me for a mom!

I have thought this. That’s scary to admit. It’s usually in the middle of the night when baby is wailing and I’m crying and angry. And tired. So those aren’t very rational thoughts! In the morning, when its light and baby is sleeping nicely in her crib, I think “why was I so upset at her last night?! I’d never want anyone else to be her mom. She’s mine!!” And I know that God really did give her to us and she fits perfectly in our family.

We all know that we’d do anything for our children. We’ll love them to the end. We were made to love them. But it’s hard in the middle of the night when it’s all dark and you feel so alone! Yet even there, He is; waiting to hear us call on Him. He will grace us with His presence. He will help us do the hard things of being patient, of loving, of gently rocking, of praying over them and helping them not be fearful.

And we never need to feel sorry for our children. God chose us to be their mother. They are His gifts to us.  We are His gift to them!

God doesn’t make mistakes. He has a purpose for each child He sends us.

“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalms 139:13-16

I recently read the ebook “Lies Moms Believe and how the Gospel Refutes Them”. Rebekah Hargraves from Hargraves Home and Hearth Blog wrote it and she’s a real blessing to me and many people! She has a podcast that I enjoy listening to! And she’s got some cute mugs you can purchase!!

Anyway, the book was really awesome and gave me lots of mom-spiration!! If you’d like to have a copy of this book on your iPad or Kindle, click here to preorder your copy today! It’s official launch day when it will be available for download is November 10! Yay! That’s not very far away!! 🙂


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